Sometimes Loving God is Hard

Sometimes loving God is hard.
Not our man-ufactured ideas of God but
God the Actual.
The God who disappears for months
then shows up as if it were no biggie, relax.
The God who the psalmist describes as a
moth that eats away all that is dear to us.
The God who, let’s face it, 
seems without apology to have favorites.
 
Sometimes loving me is hard.
I’ve no doubt God would say that, say
You’re no walk in the park either, pal.
Still, I want to be able to flaunt all
my eccentricities and still keep
smelling like a rose.
Shouldn’t a similar turnabout be just?
Shouldn’t I be big enough to love God
for who God is?
 
Reverend Maclean preached that
we can love completely without complete
understanding.
This I too believe and seek to practice with
those I walk the earth with.
I am learning this line applies to God as well.
There are times when this is effortless,
times when I say God is beautiful.
But sometimes loving God is hard.
 
 

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18 Comments

  1. Michele Morin on May 20, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    I wish that this were not so true.

  2. mike graves on May 20, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    I get tired of God,forgive me

  3. wynnegraceappears on May 20, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    This brands us as fully human. Our antenna, like rabbit ears, is He near or is He far. Is he listening? Always striving to detect His proximity and the degree to which He loves. He is near. He hears. This is me preaching to self. My homework? Write it out 100 times in my neatest penmanship. Not punitive, simply to remind my C student-self.

    Thank you. This is classic Blase poetry. You speaks into and for the hearts of many. I hope you are working on a book of poetry, friend.

  4. avonlady84 on May 20, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    So true, John. While watching my once healthy son lose his vision, speech, mobility, and finally his life by age 24 to Batten’s Disease & living without him for the past 15 months, loving God has been very hard. Sometimes even believing He was there seemed impossible, but thru it all, I’m finding that He loves me regardless of whether I love him, and that He loves me enough for both of us when I don’t feel love for him. He loved my son even before He loaned him to me, and oh, how amazing the party must have been in heaven when He welcomed him back home, even though He knew how much it hurt me to let him go! I’m finally beginning to understand how awesome God’s love is even when it hurts, and that the joy we will know in eternity will not compare to the sadness we must endure at times here on earth. Yes, loving God is hard, but anything worth doing is always hard, isn’t it? I so enjoyed your session & meeting you at Jumping Tandem Retreat in Nebraska this month. Thanks for inspiring me to use the “nouns” of my life in my poetry! I started my own blog & I’m actually writing a column for our local newspaper entitled “Life on the Back Roads” since I returned from the retreat. Your advice has helped me become a better writer.

  5. Kelsey L. Munger on May 20, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    This is beautiful. Found you via Rachel Held Evan’s Twitter. 🙂

  6. pastordt on May 20, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    AMEN. And thank you, John.

  7. Jo on May 21, 2015 at 6:41 am

    Amen, thank you (& the line where God speaks written with our Pastor in mind, east end Glaswegian amirite?)

    • thebeautifuldue on May 23, 2015 at 12:55 pm

      Thanks, Jo. I’m not sure I followed you there at the end, about your pastor. But still, thank you.

  8. mosaic90 on May 22, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    I loved this poem. Thank you for saying the things that many of us do not dare to. Or, saying things in ways that many of us have never considered.

    Btw, was wondering what happened to your poem, God the brave. I wanted to reread it but it is missing.

    Thank you.

    • thebeautifuldue on May 23, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Thank you. I’m doing a little revision on that poem, hope to have it back up soon.

  9. Gypsy Mama on May 26, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    Thank goodness He knew that about me before the foundations of the world…that it would be hard for me to reach out, to call his name, to sing his praise…I am sooo blessed that He knew that about me before I ever had this shell.
    Thank you for your words; your honest heart. It is refreshing.

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